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What Self-Compassion Isn’t (and What It Is) #1000Speak

Self-Compassion is not Self-Indulgence Tweet Sometimes people are afraid to be compassionate with themselves because they think this means they will be self-indulgent. But it’s not the same thing. Think of compassion in the way Buddhists use it, as “loving kindness” and it might be easier to see that self-compassion has nothing to do with indulgence. If you are trying …

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It’s Okay To Be You – a #1000Speak post

I was a shy teenager, particularly around boys. If one of those scary creatures looked at me, I went red, even though I knew he would actually be looking beyond me to the gorgeous blonde girl or bubbly chatterbox behind. If there was nobody behind me – then he’d made a mistake and for a moment thought I was someone …

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Dear Inner Tyrant…

Dear Inner Tyrant, Your tactics don’t work. I realise you are trying to help me, that you hope by pointing out my mistakes and short-comings I will be able to correct them. But it just doesn’t work. All it does is leave me feeling inadequate and hopeless. You’ve been criticising me for over fifty years, so don’t you think that if …

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Learning to be Vulnerable – #1000Speak

Some moments stay with us, moments that might seem insignificant, nothing much in the grand scheme of life. Many, many years ago, I was at a college dance, in the washrooms, redoing my make-up or washing my hands or whatever else teenage girls do in washrooms. It’s so long ago, I don’t remember. I do remember the young woman who …

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What Does Happiness Have To Do With Compassion? a #1000Speak post

20 March is 1000 Voices Link-up day. It’s also International Day of Happiness, so this month its seems a great idea to write about the connection between compassion and happiness. What does happiness have to do with compassion? Um… everything. The more compassion we feel, the more likely we are to feel happy. You don’t have to take my word …

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Kindness Doesn’t Require Proof – a #1000Speak post

There’s an image going around the internet of a seed bursting open. Along with the picture, is a quote from Cynthia Occelli. I know nothing about Cynthia Occelli, other than this is what she says about seeds: For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. …

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Gifts From the Homeless – a #1000Speak post

Sunday morning, late 2002, York, UK. With my husband and two small children, I stroll through cobbled streets, passing a medieval tower, and a Gothic cathedral. Intricately decorated walls grab our attention, until the children tug our hands. “We want to see the trains!” Our four-year-old stops every now and then to admire pretty things: weeds growing out of ancient …

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Book Review: Parenting With Purpose by Nina Garcia

I hadn’t got far into Parenting with Purpose before I knew that I was going to like it. In the first page of her introduction, Nina Garcia says: “We’ve got this discipline thing all wrong. We assume discipline is about punishment… We mistakenly believe that the main purpose of discipline is to stop tantrums at all costs, as quickly as possible.” …

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When life feels like a big rush

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. – Lao Tzu   Most days I’m fairly relaxed and just do what’s before me. I take disruptions as they come and if it means I don’t my list of tasks completed – so be it. So when this site crashed after I’d updated my theme X, a few weeks ago, I …

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When You Think You Can’t Forgive

Do you find it hard to forgive? You aren’t alone. Many people feel the same way, and some psychologists even say our brains are hard-wired not to forgive as a way to protect ourselves from perceived danger. Yet, even if this is true in the short term, several studies have shown that long-term effects of being unable to forgive could …