The Many Facets of Grief

Even as I’ve been going through it, even when it has hurt deeply, I’ve felt fascinated by the grief process. Grief doesn’t come in a box marked: “Sad all the time. ” In the first few days after my father’s death, when my sisters, mother and I were together, it’s true we did a lot of crying. But we also …

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7 Ways To Help You Write When You Feel Depressed

My first daughter was six months old when I began studying for an MA in Creative Writing. I wrote in snatches when she slept – which wasn’t often – and I was often exhausted. Towards the end of the second term, I was pregnant again. I was allowed an intermission and also planned to find a  babysitter for our older daughter for when the intermission …

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Why Do I Write? Why Do You Write?

There’s something about seeing someone you love stare death in the face and voice regrets that leads to pondering life’s big questions. At least, there’s something about my father nearing the end of his life and talking about his regrets that has got me thinking deeply.Isn’t it strange how much we dwell on what we think we’ve done wrong, on …

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Women, Drinking and Creativity

Last weekend, several  UK newspapers and websites, including the BBC news,  reported that researchers in Glasgow, Liverpool and Manchester have been studying drinking patterns from the 1980s up to 2011. What they found that deaths from alcohol in young men initially rose, but has been falling since the early 2000s. The same is not true for young women. In all three cities, …

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The Importance of Journalling for Writers

It struck me, at 4.30 am this morning when I got out of bed to journal, that without all the notebooks I’ve scribbled in over the years my sanity would be precarious at best. I had been lying awake with thoughts whirling round my head, and nothing I tried would quiet my mind enough to sleep. Instead I was getting …

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Let Go of Guilt and Shame

A common theme among mothers is that of guilt. Fathers, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters probably feel guilt too, but mothers seem to be particularly prone to it. I have not been an exception to that. But, I have learned ways to let go of guilt and have come to see that it generally serves little purpose. For me, letting …

Teenagers are Difficult: Is That True?

Since last summer I have been mother to two teenagers. We have our moments. But then, with teenagers, who doesn’t? That’s pretty much what you’d expect the mother of a teenager to say, isn’t it? If you’re not too keen on teenagers you might roll your eyes and say that they are selfish layabouts and the only good thing about …

Inquiry: Children spend too much time at computers and watching TV – is it true?

Most parents seem to believe some version of this, and I certainly have my moments. But a few things have led me to wonder about this recently. First of all, if a  belief causes me stress (and this one definitely does) then it’s worth investigating. And secondly, someone told me recently about a woman who is now in her eighties, and …

Inquiry: Parents should always be consistent – Is it true?

I haven’t updated this blog for a long time for several reasons. First of all, over at HubPages, where I write as Melovy, I have been busy learning how to better optimize my writing for search engines. Meanwhile my kids have been growing into teenagers and they are not so keen to share the foibles of our family life. I believe …

Combining The Work and The Sedona Method

As well as continuing to use The Work to inquire into the stressful thoughts and beliefs that come visiting, for  a year or two now, I have also been using The Sedona Method, and because it has become a huge part of my life it seems time to write a post about it. I’ve written before about the difficulties many …