I have several posts planned for this blog, but they are all in various stages of needing a little more research here or a bit of tweaking there. My writing brain is working at a slightly slower speed than normal, largely due to being more tired than normal. I have read that lack of sleep does this – well I didn’t read that is specifically slows your writing brain, but that it has more of an effect mentally than physically. A week ago today we were sweltering in New York, having spent several nights baking or freezing as the air-conditioning in our hotel seemed to have only those two settings. Perhaps not quite: it also had a bit noisy and deafen. The garbage collectors also had a deafen setting, especially when they came at 4am and reversed the whole way up the street. (That is truly what it seemed like with its beep, bee-eep, beep bee-eep.)
After an overnight flight we returned to the land of no air-conditioning almost a week ago and usually I’d have shaken off jet lag within a couple of days, but in the land of no air-conditioning we have been having unusually hot weather. Therefore I have been waking in the night more often than I normally would, usually to the sound of one of our daughters creaking around in her bed or to the movement of my husband tossing off the quilt.
So my blog posts seem to be sprawling around Word and the WordPress Edit-Post box with as much lethargy as my teenage daughters have sprawled across the sofa this week. And therefore I am thankful to be taking part in a blog link-up where all I have to do is list 10 things I am thankful for. As soon as those half-finished posts have managed to pick themselves up off the sofa and get themselves into coherent order I will publish them. Meantime, here’s my list:
Actually, I have already dispensed with number one, but I’ll repeat it for the list.
1) I am thankful for Bloppy Bloggers, the Facebook group where I have met many other bloggers, and for Lizzie Rogers of Considerings who is hosting the Ten Things of Thankful blog hop.
2) This might seem bizarre after my little grump about lack of sleep, but truly I am grateful for all the sunshine we’ve had the past week, and even for the sticky heat of New York. (The latter even makes me grateful for our cooler climate.)
3) I am grateful that we could afford to make the Transatlantic trip to Boston, Cape Cod and New York. I love Boston; it is without a doubt one of my favourite cities in the world. If we lived anywhere other than where we do I’d like it to be Boston.
4) I am of course thankful for The Sedona Method and The Work of Bryon Katie, both of which have given me freedom and peace that a decade ago I never imagined would be possible.
5) I am grateful for my children. I came late to motherhood after infertility and miscarriage, so I never could take for granted that one day I’d have children of my own.
6) I am grateful for my miscarriage. Though it took me into the deepest depression I have ever experienced in my life, it also made a profound change in how I viewed life. Without it, I might never had been drawn to question beliefs with the Work or learned to welcome feelings and let them go. Without it, I am sure I would have been much less compassionate as a mother and as a person. And I knew this even as I was struggling through that depression all those years ago.
7) For the same reason, I am also grateful for the infertility I experienced before getting lucky. It definitely made me question some beliefs and climb down off my high horse. (Previous to this experience I thought people should just accept their lot and not bother stressing themselves with fertility treatments. I was fortunate enough to find acupuncture which worked for me.)
8) I am thankful for the wealth of choices we have in the western world when it comes to medicine. Without acupuncture and Chinese herbs I doubt very much that our first daughter would have been born. (If you are interested, you can read more about my experience with this here.) Without western medicine I’m sure our second daughter would not have survived her very early birth. In particular I’m grateful that in the UK we have the NHS, which provided all the care she needed free of charge.
9) I am thankful for my children in another way. I am thankful that they are like a mirror that constantly reveals to me the aspects of myself that I have worked very hard for decades to keep hidden. The more I see myself reflected in them and learn to love what I have repressed, the more life reflects love back to me.
10) I am thankful for everyone I encounter who in some way reflects back to me those aspects of human nature I would rather deny in myself. Taking the time to stop and notice when I react to what I see in someone else gives me the chance to love another part of humanity (and myself) some more. I also gives me the chance to see if I can practice what I preach. And it reminds me that I am am not alone, that we all share the same hang-ups, issues and fears, even if the way we express them differs. It reminds me that we are all just looking for love, looking to give it and receive it.