It’s easy to be kind to ourselves when life is going swimmingly. Not so easy when the script in our heads isn’t playing out, and life has taken twists and turns we didn’t plan and didn’t want. Years ago, I had a fantasy that it was possible to never feel emotional pain. I’d read several of those “positive thinking” articles … Read More
Make Friends With Your Inner Bully
“People who feel shame and self-judgement are more likely to blame others for their moral failures.” So says, Kristin Neff in her book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. Neff is a professor at the University of Texas, and has spent over a decade studying the effects of having or not having self-compassion. She says that anger … Read More
“Them and Us” by Arthur Deikman – a Reflection
A few months ago, I typed, “politicians as parental figures” into a search engine and Arthur Deikman’s book: Them and Us came up. Those of you who regularly read this blog, may have noticed I’ve referenced him a few times recently, and now I want to reflect more fully on the book. Deikman, who died in 2013, was a professor … Read More
If not me, then who? All of us. #1000Speak the Thank Yous
People keep saying to me, “You are amazing.” Or, “Thank you so much for this.” Or, “What you’ve done is incredible.” I’m not going to be falsely modest and say it was nothing. That would probably be irritating, but it would also be dishonourable to what we have created here. Because 1000 Voices Speak For Compassion is amazing, and every … Read More
He Is Worthy of Compassion
A friend and I were walking home after shopping, two days before Christmas. It was already dark, and though I was wrapped in a thick coat and scarf, the cold hit my face. It would freeze again soon. The street was crowded with shoppers, talking, walking, or waiting for buses. A few people walked past arm in arm, on their … Read More
Why Writers Write
Way back last summer, Kenya Johnson tagged me in an Author Blog Tour, where authors share their writing process. Then Susan Zutautas tagged me in another tour, asking why I write. I wrote a post combining the how and why, but for myriad reasons, I never got round to publishing. Now I’ve been tagged yet again. This time, Heather and … Read More
Believe in Love, Not in Powerlessness
My elder daughter and I are standing at traffic lights, waiting to cross the road. I look down at her – small for a six-year-old – and a huge wave of joy and gratitude for her existence washes over me. She looks up, smiles and says, “I know.” “What do you know?” I ask. (Though really, I know what she’s … Read More
Self-compassion, grief, gratitude and helping others
On Saturday morning a week ago, I logged onto Facebook and saw that our group for 1000 Voices For Compassion had surpassed its target. We had 1002 people on board to write about compassion on February 20th. (If you haven’t joined up already, just click the link – we always welcome more!) I felt grateful, and full of excitement at … Read More
1000 Voices Speak For Compassion
Compassion. Sometimes it seems our world has in short supply. There have been some shockingly violent occurences in the world lately. The murder of school children in Pakistan in December and of journalists in Paris last week, the massacre of 2000 people in Nigeria this month. Reading a newspaper report of the last of those deeply affected me. This paragraph … Read More
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